


The Diary of the Lost Space Princess (FitzSimmons)

by Fritzen_lcaos



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: AOS, Agent's of S.H.I.E.L.D, Diary, F/M, FitzSimmons - Freeform, Jemma Simmons - Freeform, Leo Fitz - Freeform, diary of jemma simmons, monolith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-24 02:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4901641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fritzen_lcaos/pseuds/Fritzen_lcaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma Simmons has been swallowed whole..by a giant liquid space rock known as the Monolith. Botching her plans, Jemma is forced to survive this new obstacle that she has before her. Using her knowledge and new-found strength, Jemma strives to keep alive until her friends on the other side can find a way to bring her home, all the while keeping a diary of everything she is faced with. Her only fear is in the end, will things be the same when she returns home?<br/>-On Hiatus until this season ends-</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Entry One (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> I have this written in a diary kind of format, looking like letters to Fitz. My goal is with each passing episode, I write a diary article that coincides with each one, but it is all from her perspective. Is she being chased by a monster? Can she sense something wrong? Is that something wrong something to do with Fitz?  
> My goal is to keep this going until the end of season three, even after Simmons is returned home(which, *fingers crossed* is supposed to be within the next few episodes)..  
> The idea for the name came from a post I saw someone made on tumblr, something about Simmons being a "Space Princess". I really liked the name, so it stuck. Credit goes to whoever made the post on tumblr!  
> I really like the idea of this, especially since it will help my fangirl self with feels and with holding me over until the next episode airs.  
> And who knows, maybe it will help you all too! :)  
> Enjoy!  
> -StarLorki

_Dear Fitz,_

Oh bloody, it would seem that I have done it again. Last time I left, I was fully capable of returning and making things right. There was no point in me leaving you behind, but my heart felt as if I was nothing but a road block, making it impossible for you to move forward.

Now I have left you again, this time not by choice or by the fear of me preventing you from moving on, but by force.

I'm not even entirely aware of how it happened. One second, we agreed to go out to dinner. You were mumbling all sorts of random nonsense, but you got down to it. The monkey loving Fitz I once knew wasn't even that brave.

It came across as a complete surprise, hundreds of words were flitting through my mind but the only thing I could let out was a simple: "Oh".

You left shortly after, I hardly got to think on the excitement that coursed through my veins.

_A date._

_With you._

_My best friend._

This felt like a dream that would never come true, but it had. Maybe there was, was something we could have done sooner to prevent all the heartache and pain we went through, but it did not matter for you took the leap and well _dammit,_ I was going to take it with you.

My mind began to process, what would I wear, what we would eat and what we would say. My eyes caught hold of the door slightly ajar, oh bloody your nerves always had you fiddling with everything.

It should have been simple and as easy as me shutting the door, right? Getting back to my research, analyzing the Monolith and updating Coulson on what I've found.

It should have been you and me, us, leaving the base with either our arms linked or our fingers intertwined, as we made our way to the first step in our relationship.

Instead it was the door flying open, knocking the breath out of my lungs as I hit the ground. Barely a nanosecond went by, when suddenly something cool and liquid-like brushed over my legs. I could barely tell if I was screaming or if that was just my mind overreacting to what was going down.

I clawed at the concrete ground, looking for something to grab on. I barely had a chance to blink, to breath, when this thing pulled me in and swallowed me whole.

I awoke to a sudden darkness, no longer in the steel and concrete room that we once stood together in. Instead I was surrounded by nothingness; a wide open area of oddly shaped rocks, flattened land and emptiness. All around me this place was shadowed in nothing but a purple tinted darkness, leaving an eerie feeling to the atmosphere.

I struggled up from the ground, shivering at both the spookiness of the bizarre area before me and the chill that lingered in the air.

There was no signs of life, the area looking dead and abandoned. The only light was from what looked like the moon, scaled to a point that it was a thousand times larger.

Normally I'd be chipper and excited. Look at what I have discovered! Then the realization hit me, leaving my heart to sink to my stomach.

I was alone, and there was no way back home.

_-Jemma._


	2. Entry Fifty-Seven (Chapter One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Running through the barren wasteland, she hears a scream. It stops her in her tracks, freezing her in her spot. It is angry, bitter and filled with tears. She sucks in her breath, stumbling backwards in shock.  
> It was Fitz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooooooooooo I was able to get the second part up this week! Yes!! This should hold you guys over til Tuesday's episode, right? (HA).  
> My goal is to post the next chapter after the next episode, giving me a week to write each chapter. Hopefully this will help me as life is crazy and completely mad and is only going to get busier.  
> I hope you all enjoy! :)  
> -StarLorki

_Dear Fitz,_

I am unsure if hours or months have past, time here seems to blend together even though it is moving slower than molasses. If it were not for these entries, I'd have probably grown mad.

Today, as I ran for my life from the rumbled roars in the distance, there were so many things I found myself missing.

A shower, a bed, our lab, our friends..

_..You._

I miss you more than any of the luxuries modern life provided, more than good food and a soft mattress. _Damn,_ I miss you more than anything.

I wondered if you felt the same way, wondered if you even remembered I existed, wondered if you even cared. The guilt after I thought that was heavier than my feet felt after running for so long. Of _course_ you cared, I am bloody stupid for thinking otherwise.

Despite my pleading, you risked your life for me, you suffered, you gave up everything and for what?

For me?

It seems that everything you ever do is for me, like your life and your safety is the last thing on your mind. You went through hell and bounced back, and for what? To ensure that I'd be here when you came back?

Look at how well that turned out.

Sometimes, I feel like we are a tragic Nicholas Sparks novel on steroids, everything that could go wrong has and it only keeps getting worse.

With each step forward, we take four steps backwards. Is this a sign? A warning? Are we meant to be together?

_Maybe we are._

Being without human contact has left me lots and lots of time to think, to dwell on the months and moments we've spent together. The chemistry was always there, lingering and festering between us. It never entered my mind that such a thing was possible, falling in love with your best friend. Yet, here you were. You knew before I did and I was the one that always made the connections.

Tell me, Fitz, does that make me a bad friend?

There is some much I wish I could write, but pages are and time are limited.

I will say, I felt something different today. In the midst of the running, the scrambling and the heavy breaths, I heard something in the distance. It sounded like screaming, angry and bitter, heavy with tears.

It stopped me in my tracks, paralyzing me in my place. It was as if someone stabbed me through the chest a hundred times, each thrust from the blade was agonizingly slow. I stumbled backwards, tripping over a rock. I fell clumsily to the ground, the fall earning a small cut on the side of my face.

I cringed from the pain of the fall and the screaming in my mind, but it passed shortly after. The pain was nothing but a dull throb in my heart, quickly fading. I barely had time to process it earlier, for I returned to running for my life.

Something was wrong, this much I knew. Somewhere on the other side, you were breaking down and I could feel it. You were angry, bitter, screaming and fighting against something. _But what?_

I wish I could call and ask you, but my cell phone was of no use. It died long ago, got busted and broken. Even if none of those things happened, it wouldn't have worked. There is no signal in the barren wasteland of space.

The closest thing I have to a way of communication is the near psychic bond that we share, the connection stringing us to one another. It keeps my memories of you strong and (hopefully) it reminds you that I am still out there, waiting for you to come get me.

Don’t you ever forget.  
I love you.

_-Jemma._


	3. Entry Fifty-Eight (Chapter Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma never imagined she'd be rescued, hope might as well have been lost. Over the sounds of the howling dusty winds, she hears him.  
> Her hope has come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My GOSHHHHHHHHHHHH THAT EPISODE. I WAS SCREAMING AND CRYING AND OH SHIT. ENJOY!  
> ~Lauren

_Dear Fitz,_

Things have grown different since I last wrote you. In some cases, they have grown better. It is as if someone has taken a heavy load off of my shoulders and placed me in a state of rest.

That someone is you.

Earlier today, I sat alone in a barren wasteland of sand. I wandered, I stumbled and I grew weary. I never thought I would see a face again, let alone your face. Then something snapped me out of my sombering stupor, melting my weariness away.

I could tell something in your attitude had quickly changed, no longer did you feel bitter, angry and scared. This was something I had not felt in a long, long time, even from you.

_Hope._

It could only mean one thing, of course. You found a way, a bloody freaking way to bring me back. Most normal people would hope you'd live to move on and I can already tell, people on our team have already asked you to.

You just don't give up, though. I have known that from the moment we partnered up at the academy, your stubbornness would not allow you to give up, even if that meant working with the likes of me.

Something changed here, too. What once was usually still and quiet, despite the unknown sounds of space, there was a rumble in the distance. I obviously went to check it out, but got trapped in a bad sandstorm.

I almost circled back at the start of the second roar, another sandstorm making it impossible to see, but then I heard it.

Heard _you._

It had to be my ears playing tricks on my mind, the howl of the wind through the storm. It came up again, louder and bolder, causing my heart to leap high into my chest.

I felt like a kid that got lost in a grocery store but was shortly thereafter, found. My heart leapt into my throat with excitement, my body shaking at the sound of your voice.

Imagine the way I almost lost it when our fingers grazed before you were yanked from me, the fear that ran through me as an estranged scream echoed from my lips. Tears were filling my eyes from the sand and the frustration hitting me at once.

You were there, _right bloody there_ and I could not lose you again. I could not risk being lost again.

I struggled to reach out for you, surprised to see you within my sight again. You were fighting just as hard, if not, harder than me.

This time we held on tighter than before, fighting against the wind, against you being pulled back, against everything. I wanted to hold on, I never wanted to let go, but I wasn't as strong as I wanted to be.

I was slipping out of reach, you let out a frightened no that I could barely hear over the wind and-.

I felt you shift beside me, the unfamiliar sound of peaceful quiet surrounded me. You helped me out of whatever mess I was in again, keeping a gentle hold on me as I gasped for air.

I was relieved to look above and see some familiar and long missed faces, but most importantly, I was most relieved to look beside me and see your familiar, bright blue eyes staring back at me. Seeing them sprung tears to my eyes, I couldn't help that I sounded breathless as I whispered your name.

Not that you really cared, all that aside we had one another back. This much was made clear as I rested my head into your shoulder, allowing myself to relax in your arms as they hugged me into comfort and warmth.

Somewhere in that mess I must have fallen asleep, for the next time I woke up I bolted straight up in a bed, _a bed,_ surrounded by unfamiliar white walls. It took me a moment to realize my heavy breathing, my outstretched arm and my tense posture. In my outstretched hand was handmade stick, sharp and obviously lethal.

How the hell it got there, I haven't a bloody clue.

Forcing my arm down, I dared myself to look to my side again, and that is when I saw you. You were asleep, back straight against the wall, your eyes closed and your face peaceful.

I couldn't help myself, I left the lonely bed and laid my head on your leg, tucking my loose hair behind my ear and taking a deep breath.

You were here, but my mind could not rest assured. Gently I ran my hand over your leg, giving your knee a gentle squeeze just to be sure.

Yes, you were real, this was all real and I was here. I was safe.

And as I closed my eyes, it became clearly obvious to me what was no longer my greatest fairytale, but now my real life.

_I was home._

_-Jemma_


	4. Entry Fifty-Nine(Chapter Three)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma is back.  
> Sort of.  
> Things have drastically changed in the last six months, what she use to be love and adore is now her greatest fear.  
> Fitz's is the only thing tying her to this place, but something is eating at her mind.  
> She needs to go back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey! Thank you all for checking this out! I apologize it is so bloody late(here I go talking like FitzSimmon's again).. I just want to warn you all that this week I will be insanely busy so there will be no updates most likely! So sorry for this.:(   
> Also this isn't the best chapter in the world.. But I have not been sleeping, under a lot of stress and am currently fighting some form of cold or bad allergies. This actually really helped me feel a little better, to be honest.   
> Hope you all enjoy and have a wonderful week!   
> -StarLorki

_Dear Fitz,_

No one expected me to be back so soon, let alone, _at all_. Yet here I was and I wish I could say that things were pretty much the way they were six months ago..

_..But they aren't._

The smallest of things set me off; light, sound, things I lost touch with. A simple buzz from a phone is enough to send jumping into the air.

When you approached me after waiting for me so patiently after the shower, you offered to show me the lab.

 _Our_ lab.

I wanted to feel more excited about seeing the place I loved dearly after leaving it behind for six months, but there was something hidden among that - I was scared. A lot has changed in the time I was gone, there were new faces and new situations that I was not used to seeing.

But I pushed those feelings aside and reached for the one thing that would always be there for me and that was your hand held out for mine. Within an instant I felt as if I was actually safe, holding your hand made it feel like I was actually here and stuck in some horrible dream that I would wake up from.

I expected to feel a warm welcome when I stepped into the lab, like receiving a huge hug from an old friend I haven't seen in ages. What hit me as soon as I entered was anything but warm and kind feelings.

You were in the midst of showing me my lab space, the pride of how you kept in place was written all over your face. _"Not even a post-it note."_

That comment almost brought a smile to my face, but a sound both loud and foreign quickly caught my attention. Seeing you turn your head slightly before addressing did not help the fact that this whole situation made me feel flustered.

I had to assure you that it was nothing bad, but that seemed to not help my flustered mind any. Typical old you looked at it like it was no problem, but that was hardly the case.

Your expression when I told you that my curiosity faded once the fear settled nearly threw me over the edge, in no way did I want to appear ungrateful or cold towards everything that you were doing for me.

Thankfully I was able to _"science"_ my way out of the situation and you understood completely what I was getting at.

Little did I know what you had up your sleeve, when you came to my room and told me to get dressed in something nice. My expectations of what was going on were way off base when we walked hand-in-hand into a dim, soft and quiet restaurant space.

The main thing that stood out to me was the fact that not a single soul seemed to be in the place. You rented out the entire place for me, so that I wouldn't be distracted or frightened, so that I could relax and enjoy a nice quiet evening.

_You held the bloody reservation for six months._

As I sat down in my chair across from you, I could not place the feelings that were fluttering through my chest. The atmosphere was gorgeous, but it did not stand out to me in a good way. I could barely take my eyes off the area around you when I thanked you.

I should have known you'd figure I was talking about the restaurant, for some reason your being oblivious brought a smile to my face.

When I told you that it was for more than what you were thinking, _for finding me_ , you shrugged it off like it was no big deal but your expression said otherwise.

_"What else was I supposed to do?"_

That sentence there triggered something within me, I could feel the tears beginning to brim within my eyes. I barely registered our waiter speaking to us, that feeling of dizziness returning to my mind.

The menu looked long and fuzzy as more tears flooded my eyes, making it difficult to read. It took me a moment to figure out why my emotions were getting the better of me, but it all clicked into place when I saw the glass of wine held up in your hands.

_I._

_Did not._

_Deserve._

_This._

I could barely look at you when you asked the waiter to leave, my eyes wandering at all the things you did for me.

_I did not deserve these roses, or this wine, or even the food listed on the menu before me._

_I especially did not deserve you._

I wasn't aware that you had moved to sit beside me, I barely looked at you before the emotions began pouring out. I longed for your comfort and for your warmth, but felt guilty of the need for you all at the same time.

It became known to me that in that moment, as you held me in your arms, as I cried uncontrollably into your shoulder, what I was meant to do.

You would not like this, you would not like it one _damn_ bit. But it had to be done.

You may not understand it, the team may not understand, but I do.

I see it plain as day.

_I have to go back._

_-Jemma_


End file.
